Though I am from a traditional Brahmin family from Kerala , I want to present the perspectives of women on men wearing komanam or kaupina at home.
Clearly traditional women like my grand mother , mother, aunts etc are generally indifferent to boys, teenagers, adult men wearing just komanam at home all the time. It was justified on the grounds of tradition of orthodox families. Then comes kerala's hot and humid weather in which wearing just komanam was comfortable for men. Third reason is hygiene . Air passage to private parts is better . Wearing komanam forces men to shave pubic hair regularly. Insect bites can be avoided in lower parts of boys and men. Fouth reason is madi needs for puja , sandhya vandanam, and special occasions. Fifth reason is frugality, simplicity and convenience. Easy to wear , wash and dry in any climatic condition. Sixth reason is boys and teenagers grow up without being shy and timid. The last reason is that it is to punish erring teenagers by asking them to stand naked for 3-6 hours in hot sun in public view after caning them.
Some of the reasons are perhaps good and relevant in olden times. But in modern times , it is difficult to justify all of them.
In the same hot and humid weather women have to wear full dress. Pubic hair is a common problem for men and women. So is need for air passage to private parts and prevention of insect bites. For Madi women still wear wet saris.
I have two elder sisters and one younger brother aged 12. I am 16. I find it very embarrassing to see grown up men moving at home with just Komanam. My elder sisters are married. When their husbands come and wear komanam I do not even look at them out of embarrassment. My brother just started on komanam after upanayanam.
I think this komanam business is a manifestation of male dominated society. This CFNM all the way. My sisters and mother think I am too embarrassed and hence think like this.
I will not marry a fellow who goes about virtually naked before women in the name of tradition.

This is all imagination on your part Srilatha. I dont think that men and boys in Kerala brahmin families dont wear only Komanam at home like you mention. Why make a big issue of an imaginary problem.

You may not be fully familiar . In many families living in villages weekly oil bath by men wearing just kaupina is still common. Boys not wearing even kaupina until upanayanam is still common. In Vaishnavite families, meal time is still kaupina time. Nude punishments and caning for boys up to 15-16 are still prevalent for several petty offenses. If you grow up as a young woman in such orthodox families in villages , it is not an imaginary problem.

Thank you Miss Srilatha. Now what you are saying is that they are not wearing only Komanam at home full time but basically wearing it as an underclothing. From what your reply says it is clear that they only appear in Komanam for bath or oil bath etc. What is wrong in that? Why is it so objectionable to you when they are not flaunting themselves.

Consider the following poins - 1) in old village houses there is no separate bathroom or if it is there it is reserved for ladies 2)men and boys have to take bath in the back yard or at the well and they have to be in komanam to do that but they are not displaying themselves 3) they expect all women to not take notice or stare and let them have their privacy 4) most women are used to that in traditional houses in villages and dont find anything improper in it 5)for oil bath it is necessary to wear only komanam to avoid damaging other cloths 6) these people being from rural or orthodox or poor families in out of the way villages still stick to simple and traditional habits of more than 1000 years like kaupinam and madisar and they do not intned any offence or imprope conduct.

Why should you not look at it like that and not think it is indecent etc. It is just the normal traditional way and they are not dressed like that always but only for oil bath or regualar bath or washing clothes before bath etc. Do not take such strong views and call them chauvinists etc. Most of them are simple people I am sure.

I hope you will reconsider and not feel angry about such simple practices.

But I dont understand what you mean by saying in Vaishnava families the meal time is komanam time. In any case there are only Tamil smarthas or iyers in Kerala villages. I am not aware of vaishnavaites.

I am a woman , aged around 30. I share the same village background with Sri Latha. I agree with Nonstitched that SriLatha is overreacting to an old tradition. I will give you some practical tips to cope with the komanam issue:
Don't feel angry and helpless. In a few years you will get married and move out of the village environment.
Do not look at these men 's nude bodies wearing just komanam during their oil bath sessions. Just maintain eye contact if needed. Do not look at lower portions.
As you say it is a male oriented society. No point in trying to fight the system . You and I cannot change it. Let us cope with it like your mother and elder sisters. Be practical like them.
You seem to know all the plus points of wearing komanam. Accept them with an open mind.
Do not take any vows about your husband . Look for a loving and caring person. It should not matter whether he takes oil bath wearing a komanam or not.
Focus on your studies. You are so good in your English. Forget about Komanam.

I am a woman immensely benefitted by husband wearing komanam. We are not Brahmins.
We were married two years ago. My husband is very handsome . In the first few weeks after marriage I realized he is too shy. He would switch off lights before we get into bed.
He would wear his clothes and insist I should do the same in the bed room. Always shy and reserved.
I offered to give him bath on holidays. No, he would run away. After three months , he seemed to be cooling off in the bed also.
I went to his elder sister who is known to our family and arranged the marriage. I explained every thing to her frankly to her. She offered to help by talking to her brother with whom she had a close relationship. She used to bathe my hubby when he was young till 13-14 and he was not shy at all then.
Then she got married and moved to the city along with her husband. My hubby has a strong liking for her.
Next Sunday she came home when I was not there and spent 2-3 hours talking alone with him. After 3-4 rounds of such private conversations , he started opening up. As an ice breaker she offered to give oil bath to him and he agreed. He wore an underwear and cooperated fully. I kept out. Then she noticed he was not shaving his pubic hair . She told him
to shave by next week. He did. Like this it went on for another 4-5 weeks. Then she suggested that I should be allowed to help in the oil bath process. To my surprise , he agreed perhaps having overcome his shyness to a great extent. Next two weeks I was there along with her. Only then i saw how truly handsome my husband is .
Then she quietly dropped out. I continued happily alone.
In the meantime she counseled to wear komanam at home and brought six cotton pieces for use.
Thanks to use of komanam , he became normal without any inhibitions some times in the presence of maid servants also.
We are regularly having joint baths , shaving each other's pubic hair, and enjoying the pleasures of married life.
Thanks to his loving sister. You do not need any psychologists when you have such caring sisters.
My advice to Sri Latha is to see the positive side and start giving baths to her younger brother. Relationships are more important that any thing in life. See how much good a loving sister could do to his brother because of mutual trust .

Srilatha
As Loving Akka commented above your English is too good for a 16 year old girl from a rural background. Even the arguments you use are presented so logically that I seriously doubted if it is really a rural girl of 16 making such comments. Because most rural boys and girls of your age are not able to write or express themselves so well and your writing is that of someone from a metro with a very good school and college background! It is very much like the writing of a person who is at least 30 or 35.But I do not wish to doubt what you say about your background and only want to appreciate your ability to write and argue so well.

However as Loving Akka says, you should not have such strong and negative opinions about traditional practices or allow the opinions to affect your judgement or concentration or studies. From what you yourself say in your reply to my previous comment above the men in your family are not posing in Komanam or trying to hurt your sentiments. They may not even be aware of them or if they are aware unable to understand why it should be such a big issue with you if in their own houses they stand in Komanam and take a bath or oil bath.

Please dont take the matter seriously. I hope you follow the advice of Loving Akka and myself. Nobody in your village or your family is wearing komanam or standing in it to insult you. I am sure of that.

And Navya has given you an excllent perspective on the subject above. I compliment her for giving such a balanced view.

Please understand that women in the west and even in India wearing bikinis or g-strings on the beach r the swimming pool is not objected to. Why should you be critical of some poor, traditional rural man wearing only Komanam when he is taking bath in the backyard of his own house. And what does male dominated society have to do with it.

Please dont misunderstand me. I am onl;y trying to repeat the advice of Loving Akka and Navya and help you to ignore the matter if not accept it. It is too small a thing to get worked up about instead of concentrating on your studies.

You are right.
My English is better than many rural girls.
Last one year I am in a city with one of my elder sisters. My language and computer skills improved of late.
I do not want to go back to that rural environment if I can help. I am getting excellent grades. Hope to join a good college sooner or later. My sister is supportive though we argue a lot on the komanam and old traditions.

Very good Srilatha. Now forget about any issues with Komanam and Sthree karmama. Sthree dharmam is to concentrate on your studies and work and let people wear their komanam and take bath if that is what they are used to.

Dear Sri Latha
You can call me Aunty as I am married and in mid-30s
I share your background , anger, and frustration. After marriage, there was a big change .
The story is a bit long. First part I will write today.
We were a joint family, middle class , with good landed properties, based in rural area. My father , his two brothers and their widowed sister were all living together with families in a fairly large house. All children put together were around 21, boys (14) and girls(7). I was the second eldest girl. Not much age gaps between kids. When I was 16, the youngest boy was 8 and eldest was 15. Girls were between 7 and 14. I could be wrong here and there. These are rough numbers.
In addition we had relatives and their kids visiting us for holidays and festivals. Even a big house used to look cramped. Aunt and mothers were busy with cooking and cleaning. No time for kids. We two elder sisters had to take care of all the kids.
From the age of 10, I had to take care of toilet needs of boys up to 8-9 years, including cleaning the bottoms . I really hated it. No choice. From the age of 12, I had to bathe these boys daily and give them oil baths on Sundays. Some were with kaupina and many without it. The boys were forced to wear kaupina from 10 th year, though they did not like it. They would skip it often.
Some boys were mischievous too. When I start bathing them they start urinating. Then I ask them to remove kaupina and wash it. They are just waiting to do it. No amount of chiding helped.
When I was 16, I had to give oil bath to a cousin who is 15. From the wet kaupina the hard organ was always visible. When I apply shikakai powder to remove oil, he would have sudden release of white fluid, making my hands messy. At that time I did not know what it was and that the release was involuntary. I thought it was like mucus released from nostrils, which also incidentally I was cleaning while giving baths . I hated mucus always.
We could only discuss among sisters. No point in complaining to elders.
In spite of all this I used to study well . Thanks to my uncle my English was good. At 21 I got married into a small and good family. Moved into a city. But the scars of past experience remained.
I have to stop here. Tomorrow I will write the second half.

Dear Sri Latha
You can call me Aunty as I am married and in mid-30s
I share your background , anger, and frustration. After marriage, there was a big change .
The story is a bit long. First part I will write today.
We were a joint family, middle class , with good landed properties, based in rural area. My father , his two brothers and their widowed sister were all living together with families in a fairly large house. All children put together were around 21, boys (14) and girls(7). I was the second eldest girl. Not much age gaps between kids. When I was 16, the youngest boy was 8 and eldest was 15. Girls were between 7 and 14. I could be wrong here and there. These are rough numbers.
In addition we had relatives and their kids visiting us for holidays and festivals. Even a big house used to look cramped. Aunt and mothers were busy with cooking and cleaning. No time for kids. We two elder sisters had to take care of all the kids.
From the age of 10, I had to take care of toilet needs of boys up to 8-9 years, including cleaning the bottoms . I really hated it. No choice. From the age of 12, I had to bathe these boys daily and give them oil baths on Sundays. Some were with kaupina and many without it. The boys were forced to wear kaupina from 10 th year, though they did not like it. They would skip it often.
Some boys were mischievous too. When I start bathing them they start urinating. Then I ask them to remove kaupina and wash it. They are just waiting to do it. No amount of chiding helped.
When I was 16, I had to give oil bath to a cousin who is 15. From the wet kaupina the hard organ was always visible. When I apply shikakai powder to remove oil, he would have sudden release of white fluid, making my hands messy. At that time I did not know what it was and that the release was involuntary. I thought it was like mucus released from nostrils, which also incidentally I was cleaning while giving baths . I hated mucus always.
We could only discuss among sisters. No point in complaining to elders.
In spite of all this I used to study well . Thanks to my uncle my English was good. At 21 I got married into a small and good family. Moved into a city. But the scars of past experience remained.
I have to stop here. Tomorrow I will write the second half.

Dear Aunty, sad to your story so far. How bad you would have felt when those grown up boys were deliberately pissing to bother you and your hands would be covered with the sudden release by your insensitive cousins when you are removing oil using shikakai . Perhaps I would not be able to eat food with my hands when such things take place.

Dear Sri latha
I agree that wearing Komanam only as a dress is not a good idea at all, komanam can be a undregarment not beyond that.
But you cannot deny that komanam cannot be a option for either male or even female. I started using komanam at the age of 30. It is because doctor recommended not to wear any underwear since I am getting frequent skin infections.
Komanam is a good male undergarment, even you have pointed out many avantages. Male genetials are outside the body because they should be at a lower temperature than the body temperature. Komanam is a best fit in that criteria. It is also good to know that all male members of u r family are komanam users.
Question here is not Komanam tomorrow somebody is wearing G string and standing in front of you will you accept that. After all it is your family issue discuss and resolve do not make it public

For aunty,
You and I are perhaps of same age. So I cannot call you Aunty.
I am in full sympathy with your situation. You are truly innocent at 16 to think that the " white fluid " suddenly released from the organ of your cousin brother is the same as mucus from nostrils. You really suffered a lot. Keen to read next part.

Dear guest,
You now know other girls have also suffered like me. And are suffering as we discuss.
It is not my family issue to be resolved privately.
Many men do not like when such problems of young women are raised in open forums.
Read The comment posted by Aunty 78. See her misery when her hands turned messy with " white fluid" of her cousin, mistaken by her as snot.

All of you should go to " female forum " and Ramadevi's comments and how oil bath and komanam got her a good husband. She enjoyed when her cousin had a sudden release looking at her tight blouse when she was giving oil bath to him. Enjoy the comment in her uninhibited style.
I wish I was her cousin!
You will meet Sri Latha and her tirade also.

Most of the complaints made here about Komanam and girls giving bath to boys (with discharge etc) are melodramatic and overdone. There is some deeper chip on the shoulder.

If women come out and take part in men's topics like kaupina
They are misunderstood. Truth in it's most naked form appears to men as unrealistic and even dramatic.
I wanted to write the second part on how I changed after marriage today. Perhaps I should not .

Dear Mohan
Pity that my problems look like a tirade to some. It beats me how Rama Devi could do what she claimed to do: put her hand into the kaupina! Girls like me are misfits in that komanam culture.

Sri latha must read from the " why Kaupinam is important" the comments of " komanam Man".

Why are women writing such bad stuff here?

If suffering girls pour out , it is bad stuff! If we put up with nude boys and komanam men without any murmur we are good girls. Internet gives us freedom and anonymity. We write freely. That is not bad.

I am aged 46 from a rural Kerala village.Till the age of 14,we used to wear knickers made of white mull cloth and on attaining puberty I was instructed by my mother to wear konakam tighly as innercloth in place of knickers.As she told,it was necessary to control the possible kamavikara and to absorb the usual discharges.Many of my classmates were wearing an onnaramundu(something like a short madissar)but ladies in my family were tying Konakam.Even my aunt who is a headmistress in middle school still wears konakam.

Men do wear only kaupina in some contexct but it should be worn as front part of the cloth hanging outside so it will be better.
One can codemn the if men in kaupina roaming around and he cannot control his emotions. Then it is vulger. Body anotomy is visible event if one covers entire body with cloth.

Kaupina worn tightly is a strong and safe protective band for women

We should sympathise Sriltha's incident as males. Meanwhile the circumstances mentioned still doubtfull in Indian culture that, a 16 year old naked boy is getting a bath from 16 year old girl. What the parents were doing? They kept quite? The boy was physically or mentally disabled? If not, normal boys will learn when they start to go to school how to clen themselves at 10 or 11 year of their age.If a boy is discharging fluid in the hand of a girl is a symbol of psychological disorder which needs a treatment. This is something similar to the syndrome like exposing one's sexual organ to oposite sex. This may repeat even he use any underwear because it comes from his mind and heart for which kaupina can not be blamed.And the habitual wearer does it because thy like it and one can not impose on anybody.
Somebody told it is a males domain, something sounds a wrong concept. It is a common dress to be used by either male or female on one's own inerest not by a force.
Basically , I believe forum is concentrating on user's intrest on the topic kaupinam not on the things diverting from the issue.

Kaupinam or Komanam is something I wear 24 x 7 for last 43 years (with only 10 years interruption during day time for office). Nothing can match the self fitting comfort and simplicity of Komanam which is also a very healthy and scientific under garment. It is scientific because it is secured at 3 points. First by waist string and then by tucking at the back. Third it is secured by weight of body or groin. So it will never come loose. Because it is draped or stretched over the groin with soft cloth it is both soft and firm and will give the exact fit. Underwear on the other hand is stitched or ready made and will be loose because it can never stretch over the groin like the Kaupinam. So you get better self control and protection from hydrocele etc with Komanam. And because jatti is loose with spare cloth it does not support the thing well. The thing saman is subject to gravity force and the body reduces the gravity effect by reducing blood supply to the organ thing which shrinks in size. With the good support of Komanam the blood flow is normal so the thing is always in its normal size. This is good for sex as well as is quicker. I suggest all should try Komanam and see the benefits for themselves (it will take a month or two to fully appreciate).
5:00 PM Women maynot be able to wear when they are carrying etc...otherwise normal time it is good and comfortable for them to sleep happily in the night. And it is not compulsory to remove pubic hairs as they are useful for protecting the organs from heat etc. We can grow it like bush water it wash daily with soap.shampoo,hair oil etc..and it will grow thicker and protect your surface..

Aunty's comments about her inter-action with her male relations is understandable. In my mind such contact brings great respect in the boys' mind for their sister, and the sister could depend on them forever. I wish I had a sister to do my mum's duties to me!

I would like to add a bit more about aunty78 and her experience with the boys in her home. These experiences are invaluable for the future married life as she could learn about male anatomy ( and the 'mucus') and behavior first hand.

It is very interesting to read that many people are giving their comments in promoting komanam. I am also of the opinion that komanam should be used instead of readymade underwear. I am a regular wearer of komanam for the past 5 yearsand find it very convenient and am happy with it. At home I have three pairs of komanam and while going to bed I wear only komanam. Whenever, I am at home, I wear only komanam. I wish more & more people should start wearing komanam and the readymade undergarment should vanish.

In case anybody wants to share their views on komanam, they can reach me on mail id : pattukomanam@gmail com

I think it is better to wear "LUNGI" or "SARONG" with no underwear at all (i do it at home)

For people like Irfan Shaikh, it is OK that nothing to wear at home.

Actually I stopped wearing underwear for the last few months and I am finding it comfortable, I do no have any problem yet, I go to office without underwear as well

I am woman in her thirties and I grew in a village in Kerala with one brother and 3 sisters. My brother was the youngest and only precious male in the family. Wearing of komanam was very normal for all boys after 8 years in our village, below 8 all boys were bathed nude near a well. I would say I my sisters were fortunate to have experience seeing boys nude and bathing them including washing their male organs. It definitely made my relationship my brother very close and I am very close with my husband and enjoy his maleness much more. My brother wife is also thankful to us for brother's respectfulness to women and his comfort in being bathed by her. My youngest sister is married to man who never bathed by his sisters and he is very uncomfortable about his nakedness and she complains that he is very shy and awkward and doesn t allow her to bathe him. Their intimate moments are done in the dark and he is embarrassed being seen naked by a female. My brother wife on the other hand is very open and even talks about my brother's male organ in front of us and we sisters have seen him naked and so do not feel any awkwardness. I will share more about my healthy, joyful and open upbringing as I feel it is good to overcome our negative feelings about komanam and nudity of males at home with females present.

For Irfan Shaikh, he can very well go to office even without wearing anything .

Lethika's blogg is very interesting, however it is not clear whether she bathed her brother beyond the age of 10. Her frankness is appreciated and perhaps we would be hearing from other such happy sisters.

Yes I bathed him until age 12 but supervised his bath until 13 when he started developing hair around his male area. My mother was always worried that it was easy for boys to get rashes in their groin or infections under the skin of the male organ. So she taught us how to pull back his skin to clean the pink tip area.When we moved to the city, we had our own bathroom as so mother felt it was not necessary for him to wear komanam for bath. So he wears komanam at home, but I usually remove it for him and take him for his bath. It is much easier to examine and wash him when his organ is exposed. It is more difficult to reach inside his komanam to wash it. When he was 11 onwards, hardness occurs quite often, he would apologise and say it is ticklish, usually I just smile and tell him it is normal and nothing to be shy about. My younger sister would always giggle in excitement but soon we found it comfortable and we learnt to appreciate maleness better. When stopped bathing him, he did develop some rashes at age 14 and I was put incharge to watch him bathing and make sure he washed properly and applied ointment.I was surprised that he had grown much bigger down there and he got his hardness very quickly. He saidd he had become shy because he had been bathing on his own. He preferred to watch his organ on his own as he was afraid my touching his organ arouse him too much. I just made sure he pulled his skin back and soaped the area properly. I think the experience has made me a more loving wife and a better mother to my boys and my brother has become a better husband who is comfortable with women in his family.

I am the eldestlady in the house. I make the boys take bath..oil them...soap it wash...make them feel comfortable,,and then wear komanam....They come and sleep with me..nightime they feel the komanam nice keeping their hands on my body and and sleep well..Morning they remove komanam go for normal things all naked..but donot feel shy..slowly after growing up only they find it more pleasant wearing komanam,and making it a habit to live happily with family My husband also takes bath similarly allowing me to oil ..soap it pull the outer skin etc and enjoys it in all actions ..It is nice to wear an remove koamanmm

For me the pleasure in bathing them is thre..and the pleasure while touching their bodies for oiling saoaping etc..and feel inside. I donot wear koamanm as it is not needed..i leave it open and use regularly

free

In the very strict orthodox set up ladies seldom got chances to see and touch an organ of men. It was restricted and the only chance for ladies to touch an organ before marriage was through the method of giving bath to children. That is why ladies of 16 ,18 years gave bath to 13, 14 year old boys. They will have nice hardening of their man hood and their foreskin also will move by that age. If not these ladies will make it to move on the context of cleaning the fungus collected inside the skin. Some boys really enjoyed this and even had nice orgasm. They will not secrete the juices since it is too early. but the shake and jerk will be felt by touching it and the ladies used to get that feeling and many let out their juices out. if I am mistaken please correct me my dear sisters

During snan time suddenly one lady reached near river and stared at my sexual part. Tight kaupinam controlled, but suddenly precum leaked. Why this is happening ? How can stop this leakage ?

old traditions are not fools, we are great fools with out discover it in a proper way. according scientifically its thong type to move electric charges from East to West, because earth is a great electro magnetical field, if u wear underware, or panties the charges will never flow, that is the reason in ancient times the have great supernatural powers, those who have shy for wear kaupina or a thong, they not belongs to male,female or gay category.

old traditions are not fools, we are great fools with out discover it in a proper way. according scientifically its thong type to move electric charges from East to West, because earth is a great electro magnetical field, if u wear underware, or panties the charges will never flow, that is the reason in ancient times the have great supernatural powers, those who have shy for wear kaupina or a thong, they not belongs to male,female or gay category.

Srilatha has forgotten the true reason why grown up men wear komanam? Important is to have easy sex in the house as well as in the fields because you need not remove your part from the underwear and have sex!

Srilatha has forgotten the true reason why grown up men wear komanam? Important is to have easy sex in the house as well as in the fields because you need not remove your part from the underwear and have sex!

I fully accept Rahman's views on wearing komanam! May be from the voice of an experienced person! I will try once and feel the best! Certainly during humid weather cool air blows in the bottom parts and no irritation or bad smell in that areas so my girl didn't find bad during moving her face upside down! She enjoyed sex with ease n no fear about other men will watch in the deep forest and great feeling.

Ladies must wear big komanam to cover up boops and vag

I read all blogs and understood ur problems. When ur pennis becomes tight, precum will leak sure. That is natural. Try to control and wear kauphna always and don't be shy ! join with us.

If anyone wants to comment on my komanam they can view the below links.
komanamkaupina(dot)blogspot(dot)in(slash)2012(slash)09(slash)komanam-kaupeenam-kovanam(dot)html
komanamkaupina(dot)blogspot(dot)in(slash)2012(slash)09(slash)blog-post(dot)html
Hope it is good enough and dont forget to comment.